Parrot Cage

Limp Republicans

Everyone's favorite drug-addled Republican Rush Limbaugh was briefly held at the Palm Beach Airport to verify that the prescription drugs he was traveling with were in fact his.  One of those drugs was Viagra.

Of course, this presents the opportunity to pose some meaningful questions about the plague of sexual inadequacy amongst male Republicans:

• Do the policies of war-making, imperialist ambition, class dominance, pornographic materialism, and religious chauvinism naturally interfere with healthy sexuality? 
• Or rather, does sexual dysfunction cause one to pursue the obliteration of humanity?
  

Other questions regarding the personal life of the ever-pious Limbaugh should also be explored.  The man is unmarried.  After three wives left him--and the last one held out just long enough to score some serious alimony for her efforts--Limbaugh is, once again, an unmarried man.  Do chaste men need Viagra?  Limbaugh has been dating CNN news reader Daryn Kagan for a couple of years.  Surely Rush practices the abstinence outside of marriage which he and his ilk demand for the rest of the population. 

When Limbaugh was held up at the airport he was returning from a vacation in the Dominican Republic.  Since they broke up in February, we suspect that Daryn Kagan was not the beneficiary of Limbaugh's Viagra consumption; however, as the Dominican Republic is one of the poorest nations in the Western Hemisphere there are more than a few women willing to fulfill the amorous desires of rich Americans.  Yes, prostitution is prevalent and very very cheap in the Dominican Republic.  Anyone else notice that the Dominican Republic happens to be the closest port of major prostitution to Rush's home in Palm Beach Florida, and the epicenter of sex tourism in the Western Hemisphere?  Sounds like a Republican dream vacation to us--so long as the Viagra is well stocked.

There is joy to be taken from Republicans behind bars...

...and that usually commences soon after lockdown.

Rush Limbaugh gets arrested for his oxy-contin addiction.  Welcome to the salty bulbous head of the drug war.  Limbaugh probably won't spend a day in jail: his drug of choice holds no mandatory minimums.  No, Limbaugh will be off the hook if he simply follows through with his rehab program.

Must be nice.  Rich Republican pornographers who stoke the fires of this horrific War on Drugs, which has destroyed more lives than the drugs they are saving us from, get a wink and a nod to indulge their chemical passions.

We don't think anyone, even a douchebag like Limbaugh, should receive anything other than treatment for the crime of addiction.  But as that fat bastard puffs away on his cigar and issues talking points to your idiot brother-in-law, consider the victims of themselves who become victims of the state. It's enough to provoke Republicans-in-prison rape fantasies.