Everyone's favorite drug-addled Republican Rush Limbaugh was briefly held at the Palm Beach Airport to verify that the prescription drugs he was traveling with were in fact his. One of those drugs was Viagra.
Of course, this presents the opportunity to pose some meaningful questions about the plague of sexual inadequacy amongst male Republicans:
- Do the policies of war-making, imperialist ambition, class dominance, pornographic materialism, and religious chauvinism naturally interfere with healthy sexuality?
- Or rather, does sexual dysfunction cause one to pursue the obliteration of humanity?
Other questions regarding the personal life of the ever-pious Limbaugh should also be explored. The man is unmarried. After three wives left him--and the last one held out just long enough to score some serious alimony for her efforts--Limbaugh is, once again, an unmarried man. Do chaste men need Viagra? Limbaugh has been dating CNN news reader Daryn Kagan for a couple of years. Surely Rush practices the abstinence outside of marriage which he and his ilk demand for the rest of the population.
When Limbaugh was held up at the airport he was returning from a vacation in the Dominican Republic. Since they broke up in February, we suspect that Daryn Kagan was not the beneficiary of Limbaugh's Viagra consumption; however, as the Dominican Republic is one of the poorest nations in the Western Hemisphere there are more than a few women willing to fulfill the amorous desires of rich Americans. Yes, prostitution is prevalent and very very cheap in the Dominican Republic. Anyone else notice that the Dominican Republic happens to be the closest port of major prostitution to Rush's home in Palm Beach Florida, and the epicenter of sex tourism in the Western Hemisphere? Sounds like a Republican dream vacation to us--so long as the Viagra is well stocked.
