Parrot Cage

Bush fulfills campaign promise to harass John Kerry

As Bush campaigned in 2004, notably absent from any of his stump speeches was a truthful celebration of his accomplishments.  In fact there was rarely even a dishonest celebration of his accomplishments.  His handlers didn't even bother to offer "that vision thing" which Bush's father at least acknowledged was a necessary illusion.

Instead, at event after campaign event Bush slumped over the podium, stared blankly into the crowd and reeled off a litany of crazy things that John Kerry says and thinks and desires.  That famous smirk was the only sign of life in a robotic performance that didn't even need to punctuate the outrage that his crowds were there to bathe in.

What did this image tell us about a second term?  Had Bush lost that election historians would undoubtedly have inferred from his demeanor that his heart wasn't really in the fight.   With Bush defeated the lessons of history would be that the American people demand more from a candidate than dishonest bogeyman stories before they hand him the keys to power.  Turns out, the American people aren't that demanding.

Before the 2004 Democratic primary all the media parrots lined up to warn the Democrats that they can't win elections by just running down the President and his policies.  Americans won't vote out of animosity they all told us.  So the Kerry camp ran a remarkably positive convention.

And naturally these good parrots held no such comparable insights when the Republican Convention turned into a rabid hate fest.  No vision for the future, no accomplishments to be lauded, only contempt for John Kerry.

And that's how they won.  And that's how they govern.

When the election is over and all that you've told the American people is that your opponent hates the country he seeks to govern, what do people expect you to do in office?  You're in luck, because the people who voted for you obviously hold no expectations.

Seems the Republicans are fulfilling a campaign pledge of sorts and continue to make dogging John Kerry their number one priority.  Kerry has been an able punching bag; it's almost like Republicans kick him just to watch his painful reaction.

Republicans won't continue to hold onto power because the American people are horrified of John Kerry.  They'll hold onto power because otherwise thoughtful citizens will continue to steer clear of the ugliness of politics.

Nobody Left to Blame

Election Day is less than two weeks away.  Well since March we've been told by various pollsters and pundits that Republicans will be swept from power come November.  With all of the corruption and glaring ineptitude on matters of war and domestic welfare, with the free-wheeling and unprecedented spending, with the absolute unanimity of a government dedicated to securing wealth and power to the wealthy and powerful, with the destruction of New Orleans and with it any notion that we are a nation of equals, with all the known and unknown reasons why this is the worst Congress in at least a century, is the Republican stranglehold on the United States government really going to come to an end?

We think not.

Various public conservatives and Republicans have ran screaming from their sinking ship and are even suggesting that turning government back to Democrats will actually help Republicans in the 2008 Presidential race.  There is some Machiavellian logic here: the country is a mess, Iraq is a mess, the Constitution lies in tatters, and the Republicans have nobody to blame but themselves.  With the housing bubble bursting, the economy could well do a nosedive in the next couple of years--and more than anything, more than chaotic imperial wars, more than outright corruption, economic downturns are the only real guarantee that the bums will be thrown out.  After a looming economic collapse, who will be left holding the bag?

But Karl Rove is smarter than that.  Like an Orwellian villain, the White House knows that the only purpose of power is to retain power.  Everything they do, every decision they make, every soldier they send to die in battle, every word they utter, all revolves around the ultimate need to stay in power.

Which is why this dirty election is about to hit the fan.  This could be the ugliest election season ever for one simple reason.  The risk for Republicans of losing big in this coming election isn't simply the temporary loss of power.  No, this time they are fighting for their lives.  We suspect that the level of corruption oozing out of this Congress is way beyond anything we've seen so far, and we've seen plenty.  If a new Congress decides to actually investigate, there's no telling who will end up disgraced or jailed.  Republicans will not let that happen, and Americans will love them for it.

Perhaps the biggest distinction that one can make between the Republican and the Democratic establishments is that Republicans are willing to do whatever is necessary to win.  That is why Americans are more likely to trust them with power in a time of war.  Which doesn't make them particularly smart, just desperate and willing and amoral.

That may be enough to keep them in power; especially when their opponents offer little alternative.

Obligatory Lieberman comment

We don't much care for Democrats, and Joe Lieberman is pretty much the reason why.  Therefore, it comes as some relief that he lost his primary election.

Lieberman has enabled Bush to turn a flawed government into a nightmare.  He deserves to spend the rest of his days as a Fox News contributor.

He'll run as an independent, and he'll lose again.  And Ned Lamont will undoubtedly prove a disappointment to "liberal" Democrats and morph into Barak Obama (not in a good way with all that charisma, but in a bad way with all that fellating of business interests).

That said, we woke up to a truly bizarre reading of the Lieberman accusation that hackers took down his web site.  Amy Robach, bubble-headed MSNBC newsreader, apparently wanted to cast the "hacking" story in a direction other than the very obvious answer that Lieberman's campaign relied on a cheap web service that was unable to handle the traffic and subsequently shut down.

Robach's guest was Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal.  Her first belligerent question posed to the Attorney General was intoned as an indictment:

"Is there any doubt" that Joe Lieberman's web site was hacked on the eve of an election?

Richard Blumenthal was wise enough to respond that he was taking the charges seriously, but that yes, there was plenty of room for doubt.

Is this all part of MSNBC's attempt to snag some of that "trailer-trash pie"?  How else could you explain Ann Coulter's calling Al Gore a "total fag" to the amusement of Chris Mathews, whose response was to gush about how he couldn't wait to have her back.

At last a bi-partisan issue: corruption

What is it with Southern Democrats?  They're almost as bad as Southern Republicans.  Predictably, as Democratic Congressman William Jefferson's office was raided during an investigation into his bribe-taking, many fellow Congressmen of both parties are rushing to cry foul.  Such drastic steps in a place that rarely, if ever, investigates its own members, has Congress in a tizzy.

The poverty of the South breeds corruptible politicians of both parties; that corruption absolutely guarantees the South's permanent poverty.  But that's American-style democracy for you: in the region where advocates for the majority of poor citizens is needed most, they are nowhere to be found.

If Howard Dean really wants to have a 50-state strategy for the Democratic Party, it should include ousting these corrupt Democrats, whatever their seniority. 

And how about public financing of elections as the most important democratic reform since Athens?   Yesterday, Al Franken received a cool response when he suggested that the Democrats adopt public financing as a major policy initiative to Andy Fois, staff director of the Senate Democratic Communications Center.  Fois gave a clear indication that public financing was about as high on the Democratic war room moguls' priority list as adopting Swedish as the national language.  These kinds of assholes are the ones who blur the differences between the two parties and makes them both equally contemptible. 

Come November, if the Democrats actually pull off a major victory to retake Congress, don't expect any real change.  Not without public financing.

Oh, Blessed Distraction

Even though CIA Director Porter Goss unexpectedly resigned after a very short tenure under suspicion of his links to a prostitution ring, Republicans are grilling up burnt offerings to their gods of distraction.

The real story today, this weekend, and for the next month or so, is that Ted Kennedy's son Congressman Patrick Kennedy got in a car accident, and was probably under the influence of an addictive substance.  What a godsend!

We've noticed that CNN has already dedicated their 24 hour coverage to the latest Kennedy scandal.  Republican adviser Ed Rollins even commented that this incident is a blessing of a distraction. 

He's right, you know.  Reality in mooniebotland must be a strange world.  Undoubtedly, the right will try to build their recovery around the unfortunate pairing of Kennedys and automobiles.  And you know what, this shit is so stupid it will probably work.  The voting public hasn't booted these fuckers yet, it's unlikely they'll suddenly get smart.

No Law but mine

In case anyone is under the misimpression that Bush's lack of a single veto is a sign of either a weak Congress or a weak President, it's much much worse.  The Boston Globe is reporting that the administration has added a record-breaking number of signing letters to the laws which Congress has passed and the President has signed.  While adding signing letters is a time-honored tradition of Presidents past, Bush's people have added a new dimension to the activity.  Past Presidents have used this opportunity to specify how they will execute the law within their administration, Bush's people have used these signing letters as a way of actually circumventing the law.  This is pure fascism. 

Bush even had the temerity to sign into law a bill which was not even agreed upon by both houses of Congress.  In a real democratic society, these kinds of outrages would be the fuel for revolution.   What will it take to unleash the pitchforks and torches?

McCain on the ropes

Some Carpenter's Union brothers heckled and booed Arizona Senator John McCain for telling them that they didn't have the work ethic of immigrant laborers. 

Lately, in his next bid for the Presidency, McCain has jumped ship from the Straight Talk Express.  His position on immigration seems an appeasement to his corporate overlords, while holding hands with Jerry Falwell is his desperate wink to the religious white.

Too bad it took Jon Stewart to get McCain to confess to sucking up to the base.

In an effort to please everyone, McCain could very well end up appealing to no one.  McCain has a very Catholic approach to politics: there's no level of degradation that can't be apologized for and repented of later.  McCain grossly overestimates the forgiving nature of the voting public.

John McCain's Final Shred of Decency Sold for a Safe Primary

John McCain has been an appealing politician for moderate to liberal voters for his perceived sense of fairness and forthrightness.  He emulates an orenery masculinity that bespeaks principled statesman, and judiciously avoids extremes.

That's gone now.  In his desperation to become President, McCain has finally steeped as low as he could since accepting a sloppy wet kiss on the head from George Bush after the Bushies trashed McCain in the primaries.  John McCain will deliver the commencement address for graduation ceremonies at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University--in this case, the word "University" should not be confused with its common usage: institute of higher learning.

John McCain's flaws are many.  The fact that he can talk about his flaws when other politicians run and hide doesn't change the fact that he is flawed.  However, spending 8 years in a POW camp can make you ambitious.  Losing the Republican nomination to a ne're-do-well draft dodger like George Bush can push you over the edge.

The President's Limp Staff

Bush's Chief of Staff Andy Card's resignation comes as a bit of a surprise.  Sure, the President's poll numbers are in the tank, and that story about staff exhaustion became a prolonged parrot feast, but if the Bush people are anything, they're stubborn in their righteousness and don't make changes easily, if at all.

Just how much is Andy Card responsible for Bush's poor poll numbers?  What we know of Andy Card is that either he isn't terribly attuned to public relations, or he doesn't feel the authority to steer the President to appropriate action.

Remember, Andy Card is the one who, on 9-11, whispered the message of America being under attack to the dumbstruck President.  Where the President failed to excuse himself to deal with the crisis of surprise attack within our borders, Andy Card should have announced to the elementary school class:

The President has some important President business right now.  Thank you for your time, but we need to leave.  Stay in school and stay off drugs.

Instead, Card left the hapless President dangling in the wind.  And apparently, even after the President's 5 minutes of shame, Andy Card thought it wise to let the President hang out and take some pictures with the kiddies as both WTC towers fell.

And certainly Andy Card should have known, when the President didn't, that continuing his vacation in Crawford and then attending a fundraiser in California before ever saying a peep about Katrina was, if not criminal, at least unseemly. 

No, with a President this utterly clueless, he needs a staff to be all the more awares.  The American people chose a dullard as their chief executive.  It's the job of the chief of staff to not let the President's incompetence get in the way of the President's business.

Good riddance Andy Card.  The only way you'll ever redeem yourself is to write a tell-all book--aimed a the general public, not one of those right-wing screeds which Richard Scaiffe props up on the bestseller list.

The Premature Demise of the Republican Party

Democrats are giddy, Republicans grumpy.  Time, and many others, are already declaring Democrats the winners of the 2006 Congressional elections.  Why wait until November when you can be a winner now?

This horse race speculation is based on Bush's low approval ratings and the growing Republican financial scandals. 

But never count out Karl Rove.  These Republican strategists are nasty evil men who will stop at nothing to control government.  And by November they'll be cornered dogs, fighting not just to hold onto power, but to keep themselves out of jail.  If a serious opposition party ever started to investigate this group, it's likely the entire Republican hierarchy could end up in prison.  From violating the 4th amendment to some of the most brazen bribery ever seen in the halls of Congress, it's unlikely that Republicans will long remain sitting ducks.  Let's not forget what all that bribery has bought them.  Republicans raise more money, far more money, than Democrats ever could because of their willingness to sell their services to the highest bidder.

Rest assured that before November Bush and friends will concoct some major foreign policy conundrum.  This won't be an October Surprise, this will be an August Inevitability.  Don't forget Bush's first mid-term elections, wherein he demanded his Iraq War resolution, forcing Democrats to become Bush patriot puppets. 

Most likely scenarios which seem to be already in the works:

Resolution for Military action against Iran

Military strike against Iran

Withdrawal from Iraq--Declaration of Victory and establishment of permanent government will be the perfect excuse to announce a withdrawal (an actual withdrawal is almost impossible, but an announcement and declaration of victory is almost certain)

Major terrorist attack

Major terrorist attack foiled

Draconian Immigration legislation

Rash of anti-gay adoption ballot measures

But the most likely scenario is that the magical Diebold voting machines will mysteriously produce a dramatic shift in voter sentiment.