Parrot Cage

Colbert has balls

On Saturday night, satirist/supergenius Stephen Colbert lived out the dream of most Americans: he ripped the President a new one, right to his face.  The msm has done an interesting job of under-reporting or ignoring the fact that Bush got bitch-slapped in public. 

Naturally, crazed mooniebots are howling.  The latest white-ringer talking point is that Colbert wasn't funny.  In what world are these humorless boobs the arbiters of humor?

Bush got roasted, but it's the truth that truly stings.  Consider these gems:

I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message: that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!

The President wasn't the only one to get his, Colbert took aim at the lazy press that throws these parties to sit around and congratulate each other:

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!

Probably explains why they weren't too eager to repeat his jokes on the airwaves.

Watch the video or read the transcript, and laugh your ass off.

Update:  Slate has a good first-hand take on Colbert's performance.

Bush outside the bubble

Oh, hear the mooniebots howl!

In a desperate political move, George Bush entered the funeral of Coretta Scott King, and walked into unfamiliar territory: an unscreened audience whose voice of conscience outweighed their sensitivity to the President's pride.

Undoubtedly the Bush handlers thought this would be a great occasion for Republicans to score political points with African-Americans.  Instead, Bush and the Republican world got a heady dose of reality.

The great Rev. Joseph Lowery, a civil-rights hero of nearly the stature of Dr. King himself, delivered some pointed remarks about missing "weapons of mass destruction" and then "weapons of misdirection".  The funeral's attendees responded with a huge approving standing ovation which was so boisterous that CNN cut it out of their rebroadcast. 

Coretta Scott King was never just a sweet widow.  She was a radical: politically, socially, and culturally.  She fought against war.  She fought against bigotry.  She fought against poverty and recognized its causes.  She was the absolute antithesis of today's Republican Party.

The question is, why was George Bush there in the first place?  His presidency typifies everything that Mrs. King fought against.

CNN's resident parrot Jeff Greenfield led the msm parrotry:  "Do you really do this at a funeral?" 

Yes, you dullard, you do.  At the funeral of a fiercely anti-war activist you celebrate her goals and her legacy of radical social change.  Celebrating the life of a radical involves making the powers-that-be uncomfortable.  George Bush squirming in his seat was the greatest tribute ever paid to a peace-loving radical.

And of course the mooniebot chorus just loathes Jimmy Carter for reminding everyone that Coretta was exactly the type of person who gets hurt by a government's warrantless wiretapping.  Indeed, how dare he remind us of how this President is now duplicating the actions which prompted Congress to outlaw the practice in the first place.

Loathesome racist Rush Limbaugh even treated his listeners with his, shall we say, "pre-civil-rights" take on the predominantly black audience:

The end of the funeral, when it's all over, how many women will be picked up? The next question we're asking ourselves, how many babies will be born nine months from today?

Limbaugh's brother plays the whining daisy to Rush's thug.

Even the dimmest of white-ringers has felt obliged to scold the funeral attendees.

And good old boy Neal Boortz--crazy Southern racist with a "libertarian" label to hide behind--also condemns the funeral of a woman he was contemptuous of in life.  Lest we forget, this racist scumbag began his political career as a speechwriter for Lester Maddox, the racist scumbag who became governor of Georgia by offering ax handles to white customers of his restaurant.  The intended use of the popular ax handles was for committing acts of violence on uppity Negroes.  We wonder how many ax handles Neal Boortz keeps in his memorabilia trunk.  Being on the wrong side of history must be infuriating for these conservatives.  Nevertheless, evil pays well.

Don't be fooled by any of this.  This isn't an effort to restore manners or to demand respect for the Presidency.  No professional Republican could ever be an honest arbiter of good taste--in fact, they are paid well because of their disregard for politeness, and truth.  No, this uproar is meant to offset the President's embarrassment in the public mind.  Instead of contemplating the truthfulness of the speeches, which no white-ringer has challenged, they have sought to distract. 

One might ask, why are the world's biggest assholes suddenly concerned about good manners?

Humorless Mooniebots

For years, scientists have debated the symptomatic v. causal relationship of humorlessness to political conservativism.  We lean towards the causal argument: that a measurable absence of mirth actually breeds social isolation, inferiority obsessions, persecution complexes, regressive taxation, white flight, gay fright, and rampant ditto-headism.  Nevertheless, we do accept the possibility that humorlessness may simply be a symptom of political conservativism: that perhaps the mental processes which constantly rationalize the irrational actually suffocate the humor senses until at last they wither and die. 

In either event, the blogosphere's most irony-challenged mooniebots are enraged.  Michael Moore must be on vacation, because evil liberal target de jour Al Franken is in the conservative cross-hairs, again.  Yeah, he's made plenty of enemies in humiliating and defeating Bill O'Reilly, but we still can't figure out why they hate him so.

Start with humorless ethnic conservative Michelle Malkin who takes offense at Al Franken's parody of his white-ringer caricature.  You see, white-ringers have taken to calling Al Franken "unstable" and "angry" and even "violent".  Now, granted, this is a glaring example of projecting--the process by which one "projects" their own negative characteristics onto others--but this was the exact language in Bill O'Reilly's lawsuit against Al's book, and, like good little mooniebots, they keep parroting the memo verbatim.

The parody in question was designed to promote Al's new book The Truth (with jokes) and was aimed squarely at a population destined to not understand that their predictable instincts were the butt of the joke. Next thing you know, they'll be saying that Jon Stewart psychotically believes he's a news anchor.

Franken's appearance last week on Letterman has also rankled the righteous.  Al did a rather funny bit on Rove and Libby possibly being executed as traitors.  The joke was enjoyed by the audience, but in the mooniebot transcript of the show, they added a unique interpretation of the clamor:

Franken: And so basically, what it looks like is going to happen is that Libby and Karl Rove are going to be executed. [audience laughter over Letterman’s response]

See, they were laughing at Letterman, not Franken's joke.  Remember, we're in the causal relationship camp: they don't understand the funny, that's what turns them into assholes.  They don't get the joke, and that confusion breeds anger.

We presume that this manufactured animus towards Al Franken has much to do with his possible bid for the Senate in 2008.  We think he's definitely going to run.  But, you know, here in California we have some experience with electing entertainers; maybe everyone deserves better, and maybe experience actually does matter in serving the public.  What those drab mooniebots will never understand is that Al Franken can still be funny and still be unqualified to write law.