White-collar crime poster boy, former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski, will soon be showering in Attica. Him and buddy CFO Mark Swartz were finally sentenced and hauled off to Rikers Island for their plundering of company resources to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars.
There is pleasure to be taken from Republicans behind bars, and that should commence soon after lockdown.
Will the threat of perpetual impolite sodomy strike fear into the hearts of corporate raiders and start a wave of white-collar virtue? The impact of the Kozlowski cautionary tale lies in the fact that he and Swartz will be doing hard time in Attica rather than in a country club minimum security facility.
Of course, there are those who feel the 8 to 25 years sentence does not match the crime, if only because they are first time offenders: first time offenders who plundered tens to hundreds of millions of dollars. Who amongst us wouldn't be willing to serve 1 to 5 years if we had a $30 million stash waiting for us? Done right, who would even need to steal a second time?
The most bizarre unintended consequence scenario that we've seen over this incident is the suggestion that this sentence will deter businessmen from taking risks. Is that the kind of business environment we live in, where risk-taking is borderline criminal? Or is it that the head office shenanigans are attracting borderline criminals?
We'd call her a rapper, but our favorite Lil' Kim moment wasn't in a rap or a song: it came in the movie You Got Served. Lil' Kim's character (also named "Lil' Kim") stews, with much consternation, over how to properly adjudicate an especially heated dance competition. With some helpful suggestions from the butchish hip-hop dancers, she comes to the conclusion that a straight-up dance-off might be just the ticket: "like we do it on the street, y'all."
Now, we don't know where this magical street is or in which ghetto this manifestly heterosexual competitive-dance fever reigns supreme, but we suspect its gang problems are perpetrated by ancillary Jets and Sharks.
From first-hand experience we know that entourages, a posse if you will--and notwithstanding Mark(y Mark) Wahlberg's light-hearted HBO series--are comprised of the the worst parasitic bottom-feeders in the worst parasitic bottom-feeding industry. Rap posses are the worst of the worst. Whatever happened to a ready supply of free-love groupies to round out a musician's social needs? Kids today....